Rape & Discriminatory talk
I found this post the other day on CultureCat by a woman in Iraq who is talking about the rape prevention seminars over there. Boy did this get me thinking...
I have become interested in spaces defined by women recently, and this post fits in very well with that question. The military, certainly a space defined by men, has rape prevention workshops defined by men. Is it progress that they have these workshops when the workshops are only geared to how women can prevent themselves from getting raped? And what if they had workshops that were for men about rape? I can see if they had a woman leading such a workshop what kind of shit she might get from the men. I wouldn't want to lead it...
I was once in the elevator at work with a group of guys who were runners at the law firm I was working for. They were talking about women's body parts as if I wasn't there. One of them apologized to me. Why apologize if you're not really sorry? Like it's ok to say those things, just not in front of me? I told him no apology necessary, I was used to it. If it's not sincere, I don't want it. J used to talk about how he never fit in with those guys because of the way they talked about women. He just didn't know what to say. Yeah, me too. Male defined spaces.
I was at New Year's dinner with my ex and all of his male friends. They kept calling each other queer. They asked me why I was so quiet. One of them wanted kept shushing the guys so he could call a girl and lie to her about his plans for the evening. He was just trying to get laid. My ex just smiled and went along with it. I didn't know what to say. Male defined spaces.
What do you say when you're in a space that condones, and in fact even praises, that kind of talk? There's not even a space for me to say anything there.
I have become interested in spaces defined by women recently, and this post fits in very well with that question. The military, certainly a space defined by men, has rape prevention workshops defined by men. Is it progress that they have these workshops when the workshops are only geared to how women can prevent themselves from getting raped? And what if they had workshops that were for men about rape? I can see if they had a woman leading such a workshop what kind of shit she might get from the men. I wouldn't want to lead it...
I was once in the elevator at work with a group of guys who were runners at the law firm I was working for. They were talking about women's body parts as if I wasn't there. One of them apologized to me. Why apologize if you're not really sorry? Like it's ok to say those things, just not in front of me? I told him no apology necessary, I was used to it. If it's not sincere, I don't want it. J used to talk about how he never fit in with those guys because of the way they talked about women. He just didn't know what to say. Yeah, me too. Male defined spaces.
I was at New Year's dinner with my ex and all of his male friends. They kept calling each other queer. They asked me why I was so quiet. One of them wanted kept shushing the guys so he could call a girl and lie to her about his plans for the evening. He was just trying to get laid. My ex just smiled and went along with it. I didn't know what to say. Male defined spaces.
What do you say when you're in a space that condones, and in fact even praises, that kind of talk? There's not even a space for me to say anything there.
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